


FOOLS ~Phan~ (Blue Neighbourhood Part 0/3)

by heylazeh



Series: Blue Neighbourhood [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), youtube - Fandom
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, Dan Howell - Freeform, Fools, M/M, Part 0, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Phanfiction, Phil Lester - Freeform, THE QUIET, blue neighbourhood - Freeform, danisnotonfire - Freeform, phanfic, troye sivan - Freeform, wild
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-05-24 05:43:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6143361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heylazeh/pseuds/heylazeh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Note: Don't forget to read the first two parts, if you haven't already)</p>
<p>Basically, I just really love Troye Sivan’s album "Blue Neighbourhood" and I had an idea of four fics. So, I decided to once again write a phanfic as a sort of prequel to THE QUIET and WILD. </p>
<p>Mainly this takes place before THE QUIET and THE QUIET before WILD. </p>
<p>Anyways, here's a phanfic, this time based off of: FOOLS.</p>
<p>(Disclaimer: Hasn't quite changed since part 1)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Angst is my specialty. 
> 
> Everything else besides that is just eh. 
> 
> So, you have been warned and yeah. 
> 
> (Mentions to the year we don't speak of and bring up. Yikes. I'm sorry.)

"PHANIZREEL!!1!!!!" and "PHAN4LYFE"

_Comments like these always somehow find a way on every social media platform._

_Even when you're trying to get away from them._

_They're always there._

_Probably because the number of shippers, as they're called, is quite large._

Shippers as said on Urban Dictionary, are are people who support a ship.

_A ship not being the kind of ship that sails overseas._

_A ship in this sense is more of: "wanting two characters to get together and/or showing support for two characters already together._

_These said characters can be from anything: Books, Movies, Television, Video Games, and even Actors/Actresses._

_It is not limited to the couple actually happening, a person can ship something just because they enjoy the possibility of them getting together or even just because they think they would look good together."_

Though a person doesn't have to agree with the ship or be a fan (phan) of it to know of it.

_You could just be a random bystander on Tumblr or a person who just watches YouTube._

_Or even one half of the ship._

_Like Phil is._

_Yes._

_Phil Lester, who has also been known as Amazingphil on YouTube for the past 6 years._

_Only having known the other half of the ship and his best friend for about 3 of them._

The two had a story behind them and their fan base (the phandom) knows it quite well.

_Almost as well as them even._

_Keyword: almost._

There's some things that they thought would be best to be left out, of course.

_Seeing as though, no matter how much they cared about their phandom, some things still are best left secret._

_Like how in those 3 years he had known his best friend, he had loved him for all 3 of them._

_Since they had first met and before they had met in real life, even._

They had Skyped during the early days of their friendship and talked to each other via Twitter and the YouTube comments section.

_Phil being a YouTuber and Dan being a fan of his videos._

_They had started off as strangers and then became friends and then best friends and finally boyfriends._

_Boyfriends until the shipping had gotten out of hand._

Not wanting an accident to change anything in their friendship, they had come to an agreement to take a break.

_Mainly for the sake of Dan._

_Phil couldn't quite find much of an issue with his subscribers knowing about their relationship and love._

_He wasn't ashamed to say he loved his best friend, Dan Howell._

**_But like all good things, that relationship had come to an end._ **


	2. Chapter 2

Phil had always been more of optimistic person than anything else.                                          

_He had hopes for the future and what he'd be doing as time passes._

_True when he was younger he had no idea his YouTube channel would become a hit or him getting paid by simply making videos on a video sharing site that was created in 2005._

_And he had no idea that one site and a box of cereal and a camera, which are both a story for another day, would be the reason he met his one true love._

People may think, "Phil you're so young. How are you so sure you're in love if you're too young to know what love even is?"

_He is 25 years old and he knows._

_When people are in love it's something special._

_You feel something special with that person._

_You guys click._

_They're the best person to ever exist to you and every minute spent with them is like dream._

_So you want to spend even more time with them._

Which is exactly how he feels with Dan.

_And he hates it._

_Yet at the same time, he loves it as well._

_He hates how much he loves Dan._

_But he loves Dan._

_He's a mess._

_A jumble of unexplainable emotions._

_And Dans to blame._

_He let Phil fall in love with him._

_He showed Phil the love he'd been looking for all his life and took it away in a instant._

Dan was Phil's happy ending.

_Phil could see happiness and prosperity in the future for them._

_A family._

_A nice house._

_Trips to places they've both always wanted to go._

_Like Japan._

_Dan and Phil really like Japan._

_It was a sort of dream destination for them._

_They had talked about it before and hoped that they could go sometime in the future together._

_Maybe they still could._

_Phil's not sure though._

_Giving it time would be best._

_Not rushing anything because they've got time._

_And quite a lot of it._

They weren't planning on leaving YouTube and their phans sure as hell aren't going be letting them go anytime soon.

 _They were still going to make videos together and be best friends._  
  
Though Phil wished they could be more once again.

Before Dan had started YouTube and when he was just starting it, it wouldn't matter that they were together.

_But as the two got more well known on the Internet, things had changed._

_Dan feared being judged on the Internet, so instead of working towards solving that fear, he just gave in._

_Because people won't judge you on something that's not even happening anymore._

_...right?_

_Well, not really._

People will always judge you.

_It's up to you to let what they say effect you._

_Look at yourself and say, "is that really what I am?" And you'll realize it's not and they're either trying to be funny or be rude._

_Either way, it shouldn't matter to someone is it effects them in a negative way._

_If only the Internet could be nicer. (#NicerInternet)_

True, there are more nice people than mean.

_But there's always those people who can't care less about what they say._

_People will take offense in it._

_They're people, of course they will._

_They're only human._

Phil's one to talk, because he had almost let one hate comment be the end of his YouTube channel.

_He didn't, of course._

_He's still here._

_He's still sitting in his bed, scrolling through Tumblr on the Dan and Phil tag._

_Thinking what could he have possibly done wrong?_

_Oh, right._

_He's got it._

_He fell for Dan Howell._

He sighed, looking at the picture of Dan.

_It was from PINOF 1._

_The day they had first met in real life._

_He had looked so happy and so did Phil._

**_"Only fools fall for you"_ **


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N: This is a work of fiction. 
> 
> So many questionable things could be found in this chapter meaning they may be different than what had happened in real life. Including one thing that will be very obvious. 
> 
> I am not saying it though. If you read the chapter, you'll see. And either way, there's no real reason to talk about it. Seeing as though it's something you just don't do. 
> 
> This meaning I am in no way saying this is actually how any of this had went, but this is only how it is to go in my story. 
> 
> Sorry, I may seem like I'm rambling but it's late and eh)

Phil should have known.

_He should have known this wouldn't work out between them._

_He should have known that Dan was going to be his best friend and only that._

_No more, no less._

It was his mistake for falling in love with Dan and thinking their differences were so minor that they could work.

_And now the future Phil imagined for them is crumbling down in front of his eyes._

_All because of the mistake he made._

_He put his heart first before his head._

_He knows what happens/had happened is all on his hands._

He feels guilty.

_He ruined everything._

_Dan was so young._

_Dan was questioning._

_Dan didn't even know his sexuality._

_Dan was straight._

_Of course he was._

_He's attractive._

_He could get any girl he wanted._

_And boy._

_But boys are out of the picture now._

And the memories of 2009 and so on to this point are exactly that.

_Memories._

_Memories of a time that Dan was his and he was Dans._

_A time that it didn't matter what the haters thought and their judgment didn't matter._

_Times that aren't the present._

_Times that their lives and relationship weren't so public, even though it never really were._

They never even said anything about them being in a relationship.

_It was a joke._

_A prank. (#ItsJustAPrankBro)_

_None of it was real._

_They weren't real._

Something that is real though is the guilt he feels for ruining everything.

_And the high expectations he had for the future only make it harder for him to accept that the relationship is over._

_Accept._

_Not admit._

_He doesn’t admit fault for falling in love._

_He admits he was naïve._

_And because of that his heart is now broken._

Faking a smile to not only Dan, and his friends, and his subscribers, but to himself as well.

_Because as anyone who had been in love before could agree._

**_The lonely moments just get lonelier the longer you're in love, than if you were alone._ **

_And not only is he in love._

_But he is alone._


	4. 4

Phil hated how much this was effecting him.

_He hated how much his heart broke at the thought of not being able to kiss Dan and tell him he loved him._

_To not be able to just lay down in bed and watch television, just the two of them._

_Not having a single care in the world._

_The times where the two were literally inseparable and nothing could tear them apart._

_Nothing could tear them apart, besides themselves._

**"Wish we could turn back time, to the good ol' days"**

_But only now, as he finds himself looking into Dan's bedroom (not in a weird way) and he sees his friend recording a new video, does he tell himself that Dan is his best friend and what he is feeling is making him a fool._

_They were so different, how could Phil not realize?_

True, a person may think that firsthand through their appearances and how they carry themselves they would be, but Phil didn't really see it that way back then.

_He'd heard of the saying "opposites attract" and he thought of their relationship as a sort of puzzle._

_Seeing as though everything they ever did fit together._

_Their bodies as they were embraced in hugs._

_Their fingers as they were intertwined with each other as they held hands._

_Their lips as they kissed and so on._

_It was almost as if they were made for each other, or so Phil thought._

And that mindset is one of the main reasons why he can't find himself letting go.

_Though he has to._

_Right?_

_Right._

_He has to._

_No matter how much he wishes he didn't have to and how a small part of him, not clouded by the thoughts and the sort of "common sense", says they could find a way to work out somehow and Phil shouldn't give up so soon._  
  
But Phil should know better than to listen to that part of him, it was only just making things worse.

_It was just making the impossible even more difficult._

_It was the part of himself that was still optimistic and not clouded by reality._

Which was ironic in a sense, seeing as though whenever they were together he was blind and now that they aren't anymore, he could finally see the full picture.


	5. 5

Phil stood in front of Dans bedroom door for what felt like hours.

_Though it couldn't be because as the seconds turned to minutes, he couldn't help but feel anxious and watch the clock that continued to count down._

_He wasn't sure how he was going to do it._

_But he knew he was going to._

_He knew he couldn't spend another day living like this._

_Another day pretending that his heart isn't slowly breaking piece by piece when he tries to play it off as being 'alright' when asked._

He's been told being this sad over their breakup is not worth it and he should be working towards finding someone else.

_Though that's the thing isn't it?_

_There isn't anyone else for him._

_There's no one else that he could find his happily ever after with._

_When he sees himself as happy, he sees Dan right there beside him._

_When he imagines the future he's always wanted, Dan is right there too._

_That's how it is now and that's how it's going to continue to be until the fateful day that is the end._

So how do people expect Phil to "find someone else?"

_Dan included._

_Like it wasn't bad enough that Dan says he doesn't want them together, but him saying himself that Phil should probably go looking for someone else is a whole other level._

_Find someone else?_

_Like those casual date nights Dan has every so often with those girls._

_Ones that never seem to work out and he winds up home again hours later just the same way he was before he left._

_Is that really what he wants?_

Though he does seem pretty happy enough without Phil accidentally dropping the "I still love you" bomb on him.

_But is he really?_

_Phil isn't sure._

_But what he is sure about is the matter of whether or not he's going to find out._

_And he is._

He knows this as both his body and mind seem to switch to autopilot, following his heart and pushing the door he stood staring at for nearly a half hour, open.

_Breaking passed the only physical boundary between him and his happiness._

_Though he did say physical._

_Dan was confused to say the least, it was obvious by the look in his eyes._

_"Hey Phil, what's up?" He asked._

**"I don't give a fuck, I'm not giving up, I still want it all"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M NOT DEAD, I SWEAR. 
> 
> Now that that's ^ out of the way. 
> 
> I'm sorry for uh, this wait, and being literally terrible with updates, but hey this is the last chapter of WILD. 
> 
> One more book to go in this series to end it all, as I had set up beforehand, which actually sounds sad but this next one should hopefully be good! 
> 
> Though I don't know when it's going to be up, but it should be up soon. 
> 
> Hopefully it will be soon.  
> Because I feel bad for kinda neglecting this.
> 
> Anyways, thank you so much for your patience and reading.  
> Love you all!
> 
> (Quick side note: the order is important so just in case anyone is like "hOW CAN YOU END IT THERE? MY HEART-" Remember that THE QUIET is what happens next)


End file.
